Like I have stated before, this can be a very confusing journey (well at least for me). I have Learned alot since I first joined this community, but learning and doing are two very different things. Through out my learning experience I think I might have changed in a way that I did not expect to.
I didn't get into the Game to become some one else, I came into this wanting to improve myself. I had a "self Improvement" goal. I approached this from a inner game frame, and I think somewhere I might have forgot that. After so much practicing and learning I think that I had forgotten why I was here in the first place.
After practicing all the routines and doing all the exercises , I thought that I was improving, but I was Wrong. Although I have come a Long way and have gotten a lot better I forgot the real reason why I was here!
All I wanted to do was to improve myself, so I can be a better person. I Still wanted to be who I was, I just wanted to be the BEST me possible. I wanted to fix the lil things(a lot of Lil things)
that I was doing wrong,thus improving myself.
Somewhere in between all the routines,lines,reading, I got lost. Although I was able to run a Certain method and had no problems adapting, some how I began to become "robotic".
When I went out I found myself becoming That Method.... I had forgotten all about my good qualities and myself. Instead of being myself and incorporating all these wonderful things that I had Learned I just wasn't myself anymore.
I understand that we all change as we grow, but I felt that I wasn't growing just changing. I felt Like I was becoming someone else.
Hopefully with this knowledge I can start to learn more about myself and what I still need to work on. Every method is great but ultimately in the end its you that gets the Girl.
December 17, 2006
November 23, 2006
Long Time No See!!
Wow it has been a while since I have been here. Its Been a good long and very confusing journy so far. It seems like everytime I find an answer to one of my questions, two more questions pop up.
Sometimes I wownder if anyone can(or is) 100% happy with who they are or who they have become after they have gone thru this process. To me it seems like that old quote " An Artist is never truely Complete with his work" or somethign like that. At this point in my trasformation I Dont see how I can Possibly get to a point were I can be complelty happy with the end Product, there s just too much to learn from. This is a long journey across a winding path that has no signs, and some days it seem like its all a uphill battle. But this battle I know I can win!
With all that said, I dont think I would be were I am today if it wasnt for certain people. Many people fail to understand how important it is to surround yourself with other people who can help you understand and provide that support you need. Many people have always said that you have to surround yourself with people who are positive in order to keep yourself positive, and now i have found that to be true.
There are many people who have flocked to the "community" in order to improve who they are, but not everyone is here for the same reason. I am happy that I came across people who believe in what I bealieve in, people who can be kind and very honest at the same time. Not everyone who I have come across have what it takes to become a better person, or to make you a better person.
I have always had fun with all my "freinds" but I never understod what they meant to me. I always assumed that as long as we could chill hang out and have fun, thats all that was needed for a freindship. I never realy understood that freinds do more that just chil/hang out or even help each other out of a rut. I failed to reailize that those people that you called freinds have to be able to push you to become a better person also, they have to back you up 100%(in a positive way) when you come across changes.
The old saying "Birds of a Feather Flock Together" seems to be true. All the people (most not all) seem to be happy with thier lives. they all do the same Beta gestures, they all act the same around women, and most off all they seem to be happy while doing certain activities that get them nowhere.
Why would anyone want to do different? Everyone around you is doing the same, they arent pushing you to become better. Everyone is happy with theier mundane life. A life where they have no choices, they cant choose who they want to spend their lives or what to do with thier lives.
I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I have always tried to improve myself, and looked for people who had the same mindset. And thanks to thme I have come a long way.
Sometimes I wownder if anyone can(or is) 100% happy with who they are or who they have become after they have gone thru this process. To me it seems like that old quote " An Artist is never truely Complete with his work" or somethign like that. At this point in my trasformation I Dont see how I can Possibly get to a point were I can be complelty happy with the end Product, there s just too much to learn from. This is a long journey across a winding path that has no signs, and some days it seem like its all a uphill battle. But this battle I know I can win!
With all that said, I dont think I would be were I am today if it wasnt for certain people. Many people fail to understand how important it is to surround yourself with other people who can help you understand and provide that support you need. Many people have always said that you have to surround yourself with people who are positive in order to keep yourself positive, and now i have found that to be true.
There are many people who have flocked to the "community" in order to improve who they are, but not everyone is here for the same reason. I am happy that I came across people who believe in what I bealieve in, people who can be kind and very honest at the same time. Not everyone who I have come across have what it takes to become a better person, or to make you a better person.
I have always had fun with all my "freinds" but I never understod what they meant to me. I always assumed that as long as we could chill hang out and have fun, thats all that was needed for a freindship. I never realy understood that freinds do more that just chil/hang out or even help each other out of a rut. I failed to reailize that those people that you called freinds have to be able to push you to become a better person also, they have to back you up 100%(in a positive way) when you come across changes.
The old saying "Birds of a Feather Flock Together" seems to be true. All the people (most not all) seem to be happy with thier lives. they all do the same Beta gestures, they all act the same around women, and most off all they seem to be happy while doing certain activities that get them nowhere.
Why would anyone want to do different? Everyone around you is doing the same, they arent pushing you to become better. Everyone is happy with theier mundane life. A life where they have no choices, they cant choose who they want to spend their lives or what to do with thier lives.
I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I have always tried to improve myself, and looked for people who had the same mindset. And thanks to thme I have come a long way.
June 27, 2006
Understanding My Habits.
Wow it has been a while since I have Actually Posted on here. Over the last 2 weeks I have come across some very interesting situations, and I have learned alot from them. One of the many new experiences that I have recently come across was actually meeting a fellow PUA (who has way more knowledge than me). From these last new and exciting experiences I have come to the conclusion that 1. I need to grow more as a person, not that I lack certain things or qualities (in some areas I need improvement) and 2. There are so many "False Barriers" (Social, Financial, Cultural) that have been created around me that aren't really there.
One the biggest side effects of these "False Barriers" in the inability to Properly Communicate, or to Communicate at an Optimal Level in certain Situations. Combine these side effects with certain experiences growing up and you have a "Bad Habit". Now "Bad Habits" can have certain outcomes, depending on where and when they occur. You can sneeze and not cover your mouth while you are in the bathroom about to shower and no one will ever care. Now if that lil nasty habit were to occur out in public, you may be perceived in many ways. 1. People might think you are just plain rude. 2. People might find you disgusting . 3.People might Think you are sick. After some ones perception of you (whether it is their first or last) there is usualy a reaction. Now there might be a legitimate reason why you didn't cover your mouth, such as you cant move your arms past your hips due to a injury or some other physical limitation, but it is looked upon as a "Bad Habit". Now that you have been created a Impression thru that "Bad Habit" people will judge you, segregate you, and now have been set apart.
Now sneezing is something that can be covered up and corrected fairly easy, unlike other "Bad Habits" that have been created by us. Our society understands that "Bad Habits" are unfortunately always a consequence of deeper problems. So the general consecus is "Bad Habits" = "Problem(s)". So now you may be asking well what "Bad Habits" are you talking about? The "Bad Habit" That I am going to try to focus on is "SHYNESS" , yes "SHYNESS".
Now you may be asking how is "SHYNESS" a "BAD HABIT". The "shyness" that I am going to try to explain is not the akward, insecure feeling when someone is around people. The "Shyness" I am talking about is Not Talking!! People experience "Shyness" to different degrees depending on Culture, Environment, Past Experiences, ect...
So, why don't People Talk???
That depends on a couple of factors. Me myself growing up in the inner city and having a different cultural background gave me the neccesary experiences needed to Survive, and the side effect of not talking. I am not the typical Shy person, I do not have trouble talking to people and interacting with them on a regular basis. But My enviroment has made me aware that talking can have bad consequences or convey a "Weak" state of mind. You have to "create" this false persona and image in order to get by. I will try to give a very broad example, If you go to the corner Liqour Store nobody interacts with anybody. The cashier or clerk doesnt wish you a "Good Day" or a soft careing "Thank You For Shopping". The customers waiting inline don't ask any quesions. Nobody wants to step on any toes, no one wants to interact, Keep it Safe, Keep it Moving, Keep it Quiet. So Not communicating Verbaly became the Norm, and Communicating takes on a different form.
So now drop me in different social situation and you will get different reactions. If I am in a class room I will speak out and ask question, I will give my 15 min oral presentation and I will get up and interact with other people. If I am at a club I have no Problems try to talk to a female and try to sarge her.I Don't have a problem talking to people, but thats because I have gone thru those situation and I know that being verbal is OK.What I do have a problem is talking to people "right of the bat" that I don't know in a social setting that I am unfamiliar with. So what is my way out? I keep it safe I DON'T TALK. This doesn't mean that I lack the knowledge and security that is needed to interact with people, after all I do Eventually start to socialize. But Its the "BAD HABIT" that I have Accuaried that is carried over into certain socializing situations. The reaction that people have had, has certainly hurt my game in that area.
Now a PUA is always socializing wherever he is, whethere it is in a club or at a social gathering. You have to be able to create that presence that attracts people. Hopefully I can over come this "Bad Habit" and up my game in a social gathering situation.
Here is a little model of how people might perceive you:
Not Talking = As*hole
Not Talking = Shyness ---\/
Shyness --> Akwardnes -->Anxiety --> Insecurity --> wanting to avoid human contact
These Qualities are very bad and can lead to the interpretation of WEAK INNER GAME. and that hurts your outer game.
Side note: I have also noticed that alot of people from the same Environment as me tend to have similar habits. Other people from different upbringing and cultural variants also have similar habit, although it manifests itself in a different form. So If sometimes you wonder why people have a certain perception about you, there might not be anything wrong at all, just a "Bad Habit" you are unaware of.
One the biggest side effects of these "False Barriers" in the inability to Properly Communicate, or to Communicate at an Optimal Level in certain Situations. Combine these side effects with certain experiences growing up and you have a "Bad Habit". Now "Bad Habits" can have certain outcomes, depending on where and when they occur. You can sneeze and not cover your mouth while you are in the bathroom about to shower and no one will ever care. Now if that lil nasty habit were to occur out in public, you may be perceived in many ways. 1. People might think you are just plain rude. 2. People might find you disgusting . 3.People might Think you are sick. After some ones perception of you (whether it is their first or last) there is usualy a reaction. Now there might be a legitimate reason why you didn't cover your mouth, such as you cant move your arms past your hips due to a injury or some other physical limitation, but it is looked upon as a "Bad Habit". Now that you have been created a Impression thru that "Bad Habit" people will judge you, segregate you, and now have been set apart.
Now sneezing is something that can be covered up and corrected fairly easy, unlike other "Bad Habits" that have been created by us. Our society understands that "Bad Habits" are unfortunately always a consequence of deeper problems. So the general consecus is "Bad Habits" = "Problem(s)". So now you may be asking well what "Bad Habits" are you talking about? The "Bad Habit" That I am going to try to focus on is "SHYNESS" , yes "SHYNESS".
Now you may be asking how is "SHYNESS" a "BAD HABIT". The "shyness" that I am going to try to explain is not the akward, insecure feeling when someone is around people. The "Shyness" I am talking about is Not Talking!! People experience "Shyness" to different degrees depending on Culture, Environment, Past Experiences, ect...
So, why don't People Talk???
That depends on a couple of factors. Me myself growing up in the inner city and having a different cultural background gave me the neccesary experiences needed to Survive, and the side effect of not talking. I am not the typical Shy person, I do not have trouble talking to people and interacting with them on a regular basis. But My enviroment has made me aware that talking can have bad consequences or convey a "Weak" state of mind. You have to "create" this false persona and image in order to get by. I will try to give a very broad example, If you go to the corner Liqour Store nobody interacts with anybody. The cashier or clerk doesnt wish you a "Good Day" or a soft careing "Thank You For Shopping". The customers waiting inline don't ask any quesions. Nobody wants to step on any toes, no one wants to interact, Keep it Safe, Keep it Moving, Keep it Quiet. So Not communicating Verbaly became the Norm, and Communicating takes on a different form.
So now drop me in different social situation and you will get different reactions. If I am in a class room I will speak out and ask question, I will give my 15 min oral presentation and I will get up and interact with other people. If I am at a club I have no Problems try to talk to a female and try to sarge her.I Don't have a problem talking to people, but thats because I have gone thru those situation and I know that being verbal is OK.What I do have a problem is talking to people "right of the bat" that I don't know in a social setting that I am unfamiliar with. So what is my way out? I keep it safe I DON'T TALK. This doesn't mean that I lack the knowledge and security that is needed to interact with people, after all I do Eventually start to socialize. But Its the "BAD HABIT" that I have Accuaried that is carried over into certain socializing situations. The reaction that people have had, has certainly hurt my game in that area.
Now a PUA is always socializing wherever he is, whethere it is in a club or at a social gathering. You have to be able to create that presence that attracts people. Hopefully I can over come this "Bad Habit" and up my game in a social gathering situation.
Here is a little model of how people might perceive you:
Not Talking = As*hole
Not Talking = Shyness ---\/
Shyness --> Akwardnes -->Anxiety --> Insecurity --> wanting to avoid human contact
These Qualities are very bad and can lead to the interpretation of WEAK INNER GAME. and that hurts your outer game.
Side note: I have also noticed that alot of people from the same Environment as me tend to have similar habits. Other people from different upbringing and cultural variants also have similar habit, although it manifests itself in a different form. So If sometimes you wonder why people have a certain perception about you, there might not be anything wrong at all, just a "Bad Habit" you are unaware of.
June 8, 2006
Recording my journey
So i have set this up, now its time to record everything. This is going to be my lil way of keeping track of my progress and failures to come. I am trying to understand myself better so i can become a better person in every aspect of life possible. I guess this is my way of makeing sure I Don't make some of the mistakes I have Made In the Past. I am going to record my interaction with people (women mostly) and try to break down why they work and why most people do not succed when they try.
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