Understanding My Habits.

Wow it has been a while since I have Actually Posted on here. Over the last 2 weeks I have come across some very interesting situations, and I have learned alot from them. One of the many new experiences that I have recently come across was actually meeting a fellow PUA (who has way more knowledge than me). From these last new and exciting experiences I have come to the conclusion that 1. I need to grow more as a person, not that I lack certain things or qualities (in some areas I need improvement) and 2. There are so many "False Barriers" (Social, Financial, Cultural) that have been created around me that aren't really there.

One the biggest side effects of these "False Barriers" in the inability to Properly Communicate, or to Communicate at an Optimal Level in certain Situations. Combine these side effects with certain experiences growing up and you have a "Bad Habit". Now "Bad Habits" can have certain outcomes, depending on where and when they occur. You can sneeze and not cover your mouth while you are in the bathroom about to shower and no one will ever care. Now if that lil nasty habit were to occur out in public, you may be perceived in many ways. 1. People might think you are just plain rude. 2. People might find you disgusting . 3.People might Think you are sick. After some ones perception of you (whether it is their first or last) there is usualy a reaction. Now there might be a legitimate reason why you didn't cover your mouth, such as you cant move your arms past your hips due to a injury or some other physical limitation, but it is looked upon as a "Bad Habit". Now that you have been created a Impression thru that "Bad Habit" people will judge you, segregate you, and now have been set apart.

Now sneezing is something that can be covered up and corrected fairly easy, unlike other "Bad Habits" that have been created by us. Our society understands that "Bad Habits" are unfortunately always a consequence of deeper problems. So the general consecus is "Bad Habits" = "Problem(s)". So now you may be asking well what "Bad Habits" are you talking about? The "Bad Habit" That I am going to try to focus on is "SHYNESS" , yes "SHYNESS".
Now you may be asking how is "SHYNESS" a "BAD HABIT". The "shyness" that I am going to try to explain is not the akward, insecure feeling when someone is around people. The "Shyness" I am talking about is Not Talking!! People experience "Shyness" to different degrees depending on Culture, Environment, Past Experiences, ect...

So, why don't People Talk???

That depends on a couple of factors. Me myself growing up in the inner city and having a different cultural background gave me the neccesary experiences needed to Survive, and the side effect of not talking. I am not the typical Shy person, I do not have trouble talking to people and interacting with them on a regular basis. But My enviroment has made me aware that talking can have bad consequences or convey a "Weak" state of mind. You have to "create" this false persona and image in order to get by. I will try to give a very broad example, If you go to the corner Liqour Store nobody interacts with anybody. The cashier or clerk doesnt wish you a "Good Day" or a soft careing "Thank You For Shopping". The customers waiting inline don't ask any quesions. Nobody wants to step on any toes, no one wants to interact, Keep it Safe, Keep it Moving, Keep it Quiet. So Not communicating Verbaly became the Norm, and Communicating takes on a different form.

So now drop me in different social situation and you will get different reactions. If I am in a class room I will speak out and ask question, I will give my 15 min oral presentation and I will get up and interact with other people. If I am at a club I have no Problems try to talk to a female and try to sarge her.I Don't have a problem talking to people, but thats because I have gone thru those situation and I know that being verbal is OK.What I do have a problem is talking to people "right of the bat" that I don't know in a social setting that I am unfamiliar with. So what is my way out? I keep it safe I DON'T TALK. This doesn't mean that I lack the knowledge and security that is needed to interact with people, after all I do Eventually start to socialize. But Its the "BAD HABIT" that I have Accuaried that is carried over into certain socializing situations. The reaction that people have had, has certainly hurt my game in that area.

Now a PUA is always socializing wherever he is, whethere it is in a club or at a social gathering. You have to be able to create that presence that attracts people. Hopefully I can over come this "Bad Habit" and up my game in a social gathering situation.

Here is a little model of how people might perceive you:

Not Talking = As*hole
Not Talking = Shyness ---\/
Shyness --> Akwardnes -->Anxiety --> Insecurity --> wanting to avoid human contact

These Qualities are very bad and can lead to the interpretation of WEAK INNER GAME. and that hurts your outer game.

Side note: I have also noticed that alot of people from the same Environment as me tend to have similar habits. Other people from different upbringing and cultural variants also have similar habit, although it manifests itself in a different form. So If sometimes you wonder why people have a certain perception about you, there might not be anything wrong at all, just a "Bad Habit" you are unaware of.