Every Guy at my work place is Alpha except for one, and you can tell he is at the bottom of the list.
He doesn't say anything unless he thinks its ok. He gets told what to do and when to do it. When something challenging comes up he tries to avoid it, Not because he cant do it, but he just doesn't believe that what he does can be good( due to his self doubt).
Now I work at a medical facility so everyone is constantly dealing with People(Patients). This is great because i get to interact with a great amount of people during the day. This allows me to practice my social skill set. The most exciting things is watching Other People Interact with Patients.
Like I said best part is watching all these alpha males interact with people plus the Female Co-Workers (who are all decent looking).
Now comparing their "attitude" while dealing with people and comparing the Non Alpha-Guy, I can see how certain (small)things make a Huge Difference when Dealing with people.
Now I have observed how the non-alpha guy deals with a Good looking Female Patient and compared it with the Alpha Guys.
As soon as the non alpha guy begins the interaction with the Patient he Makes sure that it goes well ( in his head). Now this starts to manifest itself in certain ways that parallel with the way guys act when the talk to a Female(Sarge).
As soon as the non alpha guy makes visual contact with the HB Patient he starts to do things that will come across as "NICE". His actions come of as seeking approval... He does what he does to make the HB feel like he is a good person.
He puts on a smile he drops(makes it softer, less "threatening") his voice,becomes polite and more gentle.
In a sense he lets the HB lead in order to make her feel comfortable.
Now all this is nice and polite but its the message that it sub-communicates.
It shows that he is not capable of demonstrating who he is in a strong way. Now why would some one demostrate what they can be(not who they are) in a weak manner and hope that people figure out what kind of person they are? I guess he wants to be accepted for those "nice" qualities in hopes that will carry him far enough.
Now if he had a strong identity and good inner game then He wouldn't worry about being accepted, because he knows that who he is good enough, and that will radiate, and people will see that and feel comfortable.
Now The ALPHA guys do things totally different.
They Treat The HB Like anybody else. They Approach and Greet in a very confident way, they dont go out of their way to make her feel like special or comfortable. Then after the initial Contact they back up their confidence by Leading( this makes people feel comfortable)And thru out the Leading Process their actions and words back up the initial Confidence while demonstrating who they are.
Unlike The Non Alpha guy they don't seek approval right of the bat in order to make people believe that they are a certain person. . They Are confident in the way the act and who they are.
This has made me aware of how important that first initial impression is, and how the Lil things can drastically work against you.
Also since the 90% of Guys are Alpha I have Learned that Its not all about being the Most Alpha One. Although I am not the Most Alpha at work I am well respected, When ever I get "Challenged" I am confident that no matter what the outcome "I Am who I Am" so it doesn't phase me. I am cool, Calm, and confident. Now I don't avoid these "challenges" I face them head up, If i were to back down that would mean that they have the upper hand with me and it would drop me into the low end of the scale.
Now I also "challenge" them once in a while to let them know that I am capable of doing that also, it lets them know that I am strong enough to do that.All this combined has gotten me great respect from everyone, and as I get better I know I will naturally gravitate to that #1 spot.
